Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.

~ Dr. Seuss

I had an amazing interview with Thomas Armstrong, Ph.D. on “The Grandcoach Live” today.  Dr. Armstrong, who is one of my idols in the field of education, is the author of 14 books, including In Their Own Way, 7 Kinds of Smart, The Myth of the A.D.D. Child, Multiple Intelligences in the Classroom, and his forthcoming book, Neurodiversity: Discovering the Extraordinary Gifts of Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, and Other Brain Differences.

During the interview, he shared his research on “neurodiversity,” or brain differences, in children. Neurodiversity, a concept identified by the autism community about 10 years ago, focuses on the importance of recognizing the gifts and talents of children with autism.  Dr. Armstrong’s work further captures the amazing gifts and talents of neurodiverse children, such as the mechanical, mathematical and systematical abilities of those with autism; the illustrative, artistic and kinesthetic abilities of those with dyslexia; and, the imaginative, spontaneous and change-oriented gifts of those with ADHD.

Throughout history, society has done such a disservice to children with brain differences by labeling them with less than favorable terms.  As researchers like Dr. Armstrong have identified the extraordinary gifts of these children, the negative labels are being eliminated while their strengths and talents are beginning to shine.

Creating a universal design for learning, where children with ADHD, dyslexia and autism can be educated in neurodiversity classrooms with children without brain differences, can benefit all children as they learn to work together, adapt to their environment and appreciate the differences of each other.  This is a phenomenal concept!

Thank you Dr. Armstrong for your research, resources and ongoing commitment to helping children experience life in a positive way.  I can’t wait for the release of your new book on May 11th!

You can pre-order Dr. Armstrong’s book, Neurodiversity: Discovering the Extraordinary Gifts of Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, and Other Brain Differences, on Amazon.com.  You can also read more from Dr. Armstrong on his blog by going to Neurodiversity – The Book.

Have a Grand Day!

Kay L. Fontana
“The Grandcoach”

P.S.  To listen to or download the recording of the interview, go to Episode #9 of “The Grandcoach Live,” or click on the TalkShoe widget in the right column.

The most essential factor is persistence – the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come.

~ James Whitcomb Riley

As I watch the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, B.C. on our television, I am astounded by the sportsmanship, the talents and the abilities of the athletes.  What is even more amazing is hearing the stories of the trials, tribulations and sacrifices some of them have encountered just to get there.

Many of these athletes began their Olympic journey as small children when their parents enrolled them in school or after school sporting activities.  Some of the 2010 athletes are as young as 15 or 16 years old, and some have remarkable stories to tell of how they persevered to get to the winter games.  One of the female figure skaters had actually left her home country to seek citizenship in another so she could train with the best trainer in her field.  Her birth country called her a traitor.

Some of the athletes arrived with injuries that could have had prevented them from competing.  However, downhill skier Lindsay Vonn from the United States was persistent in her efforts and earned a gold and a bronze medal in the Ladies’ Downhill and Ladies’ Super-G respectively, despite her bruised leg causing her pain.  Aksel Lund Svindal of Norway won a gold medal in the Alpine Skiing Men’s Super-G after a serious crash on the slopes in 2007 left him with facial fractures and lacerations to his abdomen and groin.

One of the athletes who has a particularly heartwarming story is 22 year old Men’s Moguls Gold Medalist, Alexandre Bilodeau of Canada.  In the 2006 Olympics, he finished 11th, but later became the youngest athlete to win a World Cup moguls event.  His inspiration behind his win – his older brother Frederic with cerebral palsy, who is also one of his heroes.  It’s no doubt that persistence was a factor leading to his win.

Another athlete with a heart of gold is snowboard silver medalist in the Ladies’ Halfpipe, Hannah Teter from the United States. At 23 years old, Hannah, and her company Hannah’s Gold, uses her contest winnings and the profits from selling Vermont maple syrup and organic sweat bands to help people in Kirindon, Kenya.  The funds are helping to pay school fees, support a clean water project, support sustainable farming initiatives and to help HIV patients.

It is evident by watching the Olympics that not only have these athletes dedicated themselves to competing in their sport, they have developed long lasting friendships with their fellow team mates as well as with athletes from other countries.  They demonstrate a true sense of comaraderie among them, as well as philanthropy and spirit.

Participation in sports has so many benefits for children, and being able to see athletes who are true role models as young adults is important as well.  By helping your grandchildren find a sport of interest and supporting them as they develop their skill, they will build strong and healthy bodies while developing friendships inside and out of school.

Warm regards,

Kay L. Fontana
“The Grandcoach”

Think left and think right and think low and think high.  Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!

~Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Thinks You Can Think!

On Wednesday, February 10, 2010, I had the honor of interviewing internationally recognized child educational psychologist, associate clinical professor of psychology at UCLA, speaker and media personality Charlotte Reznick, PhD. on The Grandcoach Live. The interview was more than I could have imagined as she spoke about her recent publication, The Power of Your Child’s Imagination: How to Transform Stress and Anxiety into Joy and Success.

Dr. Reznick shared nine imagery tools she uses with children and adolescents in a variety of situations including: getting to sleep, overcoming fear, dealing with bullies, improving in sports, getting along with siblings, coping with loss and controlling anger. Her strategies allow children and adolescents to use their imagination to combat the most challenging problems they have in today’s society.

Dr. Reznick developed a positive coping skills program called Imagery for Kids TM that she uses to teach children how to use their imagination to understand and manage their feelings, solve problems creatively, and strengthen their self-esteem.  You can find out more about her program and therapeutic CDs for kids by going to www.imageryforkids.com.  She also had a number of free articles to download, and her top 10 list of “What Kids Most Want and Need from Their Parents” (and grandparents).

To listen to the podcast, please click on Episode #6 on the right hand column, or click on the TalkShoe link on the right to take you to “The Grandcoach Live.”

Warm regards,

Kay L. Fontana
“The Grandcoach”

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.

~Stacia Tauscher

On The Grandcoach Live, Wednesday, February 3, 2010, I had a wonderful interview with Jim Fay, co-founder of the Love and Logic Institute.  Jim was very candid about his own parenting techniques that lead to the develop of Love and Logic.

As parents and grandparents, we often get caught up in an intellectual battle over what is fair with our children and grandchildren. It becomes a lose-lose situation because the children become in control and don’t learn how to be held accountable for their actions. This leads to stressed out parents and grandparents.

Jim talked about effective strategies for developing responsible kids that should be implemented as early as possible in their lives.  He emphasized that the more mistakes children can make when they are younger (when the price tag is low), the better the decisions they will make when they are adults.

Some of the techniques used in Love and Logic include:

• Setting firm limits
• Enforcing limits
• Handing it back to the kids when they make a mistake or have a problem to solve
• Using empathy
• Providing delayed consequences
• Learning how to neutralize the issue which prevents the intellectual battles from occurring

Jim also addressed the issue of chores for kids and how important their contributions are to the family.  He suggested sitting down as a family and discussing all the chores required to keep the the household running (such as grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, yard work, etc).

He gave 2 simple rules for chores:

1. Give kids a future deadline that allows plenty of time for the chore to be completed.  For example, taking out the garbage by the end of the day.
2. Never, ever remind them to get it done.

Have a plan of action for consequences, which he refers to as “Training Sessions,” if they do not follow through.  It won’t take long for them to realize you mean business.

When children have a problem that they need to solve, you can guide them to solving it on their own.  He gave 5 steps to helping them find their own solution:

1. Use empathy. For example, “That’s a bummer.”
2. Ask them what they think they’re going to do about it.
3. Ask if they would like to hear what other kids have tried in that situation.
4. Throw out a few ideas to them.  The first one or two should be bad ideas because they will probably reject them anyway.  If you have a good idea, follow it up with, “How do you think that would work?”
5. End with, “Good luck. I hope that works out for you.”

For more information on Love and Logic, you can go to www.loveandlogic.com to sign up for free weekly email tips, view many free articles, and take a look at the products they offer for parents, grandparents and educators.  You can also call the Love and Logic Institute at 1-800-338-4065 between 7 am and 5 pm MST to speak to a live person.

To listen to the recording of the call, click on Episode #5 on the right column, or go to “The Grandcoach Live” on TalkShoe.

Warm regards,

Kay L. Fontana
“The Grandcoach”

Grandparents raising grandchildren want to keep their grandchildren safe, but with all the dangers in today’s world that’s getting harder to do.  A big concern for many grandparents is drugs.  While it’s best to stop your grandchildren from doing drugs before they start, there are things you can do if you suspect a problem.

If you suspect your grandchild is doing drugs, talk to them.  And I mean, just talk; no yelling, screaming or accusations.  Prepare what you’re going to say ahead of time so you don’t say something you didn’t intend to.  Tell them you suspect they’re taking drugs and cite your reasoning.  Give specific, documented examples of behavioral changes.  Explain that you’re just trying to help them, but if they don’t tell you what’s going on with them, you’re going to have to take further steps.  But be careful, what you perceive as drug use could just be caused by problems at school, problems with friends, or even depression.

If your grandchild doesn’t want to tell you what’s going on, you need to stick to your word and take further steps to find out if they’re using drugs.  Check your grandchild’s room.  If you have a good relationship with their friends, ask them if they have noticed anything.  Make your grandchild justify where their money is going.  Also, make sure you know where your grandchild is at all times, including checking school attendance records.

Once you have confirmation of your grandchild’s drug use, seek outside help.  There are literally hundreds of people and organizations ready and willing to help you and your grandchild.  If you don’t know where to start, talk to your grandchild’s doctor, counselor, or minister.  They may be willing to speak to your grandchild directly and recommend organizations and treatment programs to you.  You must remember that you are not alone!

If you can’t find any evidence that your grandchild is doing drugs, take them to a pastor or counselor.  Let them talk in individual sessions.  Your grandchild may not be opening up to you, but at least they will be getting help somewhere.

Drugs can be a terrifying prospect for any grandparent.  Just remember to stay calm and get help.  It may be a long road to recovery, but if you stand by your grandchild and identify the problem early on you will have a better chance of helping them.

For more information on talking to your grandchildren about substance abuse, please go to Time To Talk.

Warm regards,

Kay L. Fontana
“The Grandcoach”

An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Martin Luther King, Jr. was born on January 15, 1929. In 1954, he received his PhD and accepted a position as a pastor of a Baptist church in Alabama.

Following the beliefs of his parents to break down the barriers between the races, Dr. King dedicated his life to the Civil Rights Movement.  He is best known for his “I Have A Dream” speech he gave to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation. The following year at the age of 35, he was the youngest person to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

During his lifetime, Dr. King accomplished a great deal and overcame great obstacles because of his dreams. His dreams were the inspiration behind his work,  his success and the respect he gained from millions of people.  He left a legacy that continues on, and is recognized every year on the 3rd Monday in January to celebrate his birthday.

As a grandparent raising grandchildren, I’m sure you have many dreams for your family. In honor of Dr. King’s birthday and holiday, please answer these few questions:

• Do you have a dream that came to you from inspiration?
• Do you have a dream that could benefit your family or all mankind?
• Do you have a dream that could help the indigent?
• Do you have a dream of serving your community?
• Do you have a dream that will create a better life for your grandchildren?

I invite you to share your dreams in the comments below. Share your thoughts about your dreams and how you are going to turn your dream into a reality.  What do you need to accomplish your dreams? What obstacles are standing in your way?

Join me in celebrating Martin Luther King Day on Monday, January 18, 2010, make a plan to turn your dreams into reality.

Warm regards,

Kay L. Fontana
“The Grandcoach”

P.S.  Please watch Dr. Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream” speech below and go to:
http://TheGrandcoach.com/MLK Speech.html

An area of particular concern today is safety on the Internet.   Sending emails and instant messages along with surfing the web and participating on social media sites such as MySpace, have been a way of life for many children and teenagers.  Unfortunately, children are subject to the lure of Internet predators and are at great risk of falling into their trap.

Internet safety is a concern that is new to this day and age, and one that was non-existent when parents were raising their children 25 or more years ago.  As grandparents raising grandchildren, there are several strategies you can implement to help keep your grandchildren safe from on-line predators:

• Ask your grandchildren quetions about their Internet activity and engage them in conversation about the dangers.  Emphasize that people of whom they cannot see, are not always who they appear to be.
• Keep computers in a location where you can monitor what they are doing.  When computers are visible, children are less likely to access sites they shouldn’t. Follow up by checking your grandchildren’s Internet history.
• Put time limits on their Internet use, just like television. When there are restrictions on time, children are less likely to get involved in conversations with strangers.
• Educate your grandchildren on the importance of never sharing their name, address, phone number, age or even the name of their school.
• Filter your grandchildren’s Internet use and/or invest in child Internet protection software.  These software programs allow you to set time limits on activity, monitor chat lines, filters & blocks websites, and alerts you of potential predators.
• Go to the website Enough is Enough and view statistics on Internet safety and download the document, “Rules ‘N Tools Checklist” for an in-depth list of Internet safety guidelines.

Next Wednesday, January 20th at 1pm Eastern, I invite you to my radio talk show program on TalkShoe where I will be interviewing Kindergarten Teacher, Adrianna Kruse.  Adrianna is the author of Little Red Hoodie, which is a different take on the classic Little Red Riding Hood fairy tale, that teaches children about Internet safety.  Please mark your calendars!

Until then, Have a Grand Day!

Warm regards,

Kay L. Fontana
“The Grandcoach”

Happy New Year! This is the last blog post for 2009, and I am looking forward to a wonderful 2010!

The New Year celebration is a time of reflection of days past, and to make changes for the days ahead.  The New Year’s holiday and tradition means many things to different people. It may mean a fresh start in life, a time to set goals or resolutions for the future, clearing out the clutter, quitting bad habits, or a beginning to daily affirmations and gratitude.

Whatever your goals are for 2010, take this opportunity to make plans to take care of yourself so that your home with your grandchildren is filled with peace, love, joy, wellness and harmony.  Here are 10 tips to help you make that happen:

G – Get assistance (financial, legal or group support) through your local, state and government agencies and other organizations.

R – Relax and manage your stress to help you gain focus and clarity on the issues and concerns in your household.

A – Ask questions of your grandchildren to build stronger relationships and reduce the risk of them getting into trouble.

N – Nutrition and wellness is important for all family members in dealing with stress.  Nutrition and wellness keeps us healthy in mind, body and soul.

D – Discipline strategies that incorporate love, positive reinforcement and consequences help build stronger and healthier relationships, and reduce conflicts and misbehavior.

C – Communicating, coaching, counseling and conflict resolution are options when issues of stress and emotions are creating conflict and mental health concerns, for both grandparents and grandchildren.

O – Organization of time and space are necessary with additional family members in the home, and help keep everyone on track.

A – Activities are a great way for grandchildren to reduce the stress they are feeling and help build communication, leadership and socialization skills.

C – Children’s temperament is an area all parents and grandparents should be aware of in order to build effective levels of communication and understanding among family members.

H – Hierarchy of Needs, developed by Abraham Maslow, can help explain some of the reactions your grandchildren may be experiencing with their new living arrangements.

I wish you and your grandchildren a safe, healthy, prosperous and Happy New Year!

Warm regards,

Kay Fontana
“The Grandcoach”

We must be the change we wish to see.

~ Mahatma Gandhi

Human Rights Day was created by the United Nations to promote awareness of the importance of Human Rights issues around the world. On this date in 1948, the UN General Assembly adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Each year, the United Nations, establishes a new theme for the year. The theme for 2009 is “Non-discrimination.”

The sad truth about human rights is that the opportunities of many around the world are hindered by discrimination.  People are discriminated upon based on race, religion, age, gender, education, socio-economic status and lifestyle preferences.  Even though there are 30 Human Rights in the Declaration, discrimination still exists leaving people all over the world jobless, uneducated, homeless and starving.

So, with this being said, have you experienced discrimination? Have you been denied opportunities based on your age, health, financial situation or  family status?  Have your grandchildren been discriminated upon based on their family situation?

If any of these resonate with you, I encourage you to watch the video below and visit http://www.humanrights.com for more information about Human Rights.  I would also recommend that you to visit http://www.youthforhumanrights.org to encourage your grandchildren to be involved in protecting their Human Rights and so that they become advocates of tolerance and peace.

Warm regards,

Kay L. Fontana

“The Grandcoach”

As we are rapidly approaching the end of the year, you may be feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the holiday activities, changes in weather, finances and the cold and flu season, to name a few.  This time of year brings on a lot of stress in families, particularly with grandparents who are raising grandchildren.  It is also a time when people begin thinking about their New Year’s Resolutions and their goals for the future.

Are you struggling with your goals? Have you put your goals on the back burner to take care of family matters? Or are you trying to accomplish your goals but are doing it on your own?  I must tell you that, even though people say they want to do things on their own, this is not always the best solution.

There is a belief out there that if we ask for help, we have failed, or that we are unable to accomplish our goals.  Some believe that if they ask for guidance that they are not worthy of the outcome.  This is far from the truth.  Building relationships and having people in your life to mentor, coach, train or hold you accountable is the cornerstone of achieving your goals.

The most successful people in the world have had someone in their life to coach them, mentor them, serve as role models or provide them tools that have helped them, their business or their goals leap forward.  It is not a sign of weakness, but a sign that you are ready to take action!

There are two ways of looking at relationships:

Building relationships and partnerships with those whose goals are in direct alignment with your goals and have achieved success in those areas.  I’m sure you have heard the expression, “Don’t reinvent the wheel.”  Use strategies, techniques and advice from those who have “been there” and “done that,” or from those who can help you get from where you are right now to where you want to be.  Some examples would be hiring a coach, working with a mentor, going to a training seminar, or attending a free teleclass or webinar, or joining an association or support group.

Building relationships with people closest to you.  These people would include your family members, friends, co-workers and other people with whom you have a bonded relationship.

Connecting with people who have the same goals in mind, or who are in similar situations as you can be most effective.  You are able to gain support from those who may have already faced similar circumstances as you, and can offer advice to help you achieve your goal.

Stay tuned for more information about building relationships to achieve your goals.  In the meantime, I want to invite you to two free teleseminars coming up next week:

On Tuesday, December 15th at 2pm Eastern, I’m offering: “Put Your Goals Into Powerdrive: 10 Keys to Achieving Success in 2010.”

On Thursday, December 17th at 3pm Eastern, I’m offering: “Got Stress? Get Relief Now! 6 Strategies for Peaceful Easy Living.”

Click on the Teleseminar name to register and find out more information.

Warm regards,

Kay L. Fontana
“The Grandcoach”